The Elusive Housewife

Musings, reflections and lessons from a Housewife

Tag: dailyprompt

  • When are you most happy?

    I’m most happy when outside, in the middle of nowhere. Nothing and no-one but my own thoughts.

    Of course this includes my husband and my dogs…and of course my children.

    For me, happiness is stillness. It’s beauty. It’s nature. It’s connection. It’s making love to my husband. It’s feeling my kids breath slow down whilst i snuggle them. It’s writing blog posts and feeling the comfort that comes with even a single view on a post.

    Happiness is creation. Happiness is rest and good food. Good music and a banging outfit. Happiness is a good makeup day and fresh nails.

    Happiness is the ability to delight in things with the same enthusiasm as a child and not feel embarrassed.

    Happiness is the company of those who relax your nervous system.

    Happiness is love without limits, connection without fear, and safety without compromise.

  • Is my life the way i pictured it a year ago?

    Absolutely not, ha.

    A year ago i had my third and final baby…(i think?). So now I’m a mother of 3, a housewife and steward of our 6 bedroom house, our life and pretty much the threads of our lives.

    I chose all of this by the way, none of it was by happenstance. I always wanted to be a stay-at-home-mum. i always wanted a husband and dogs and all the security that comes with it. Before i began staying home, i thought i wanted to be a teacher.

    Yeah, I hated that. So I followed my lifelong dream of being a housewife. That was 6 and a bit years ago…

    I thought a year after completing our family i would be walking through the meadows- literally and figuratively- frolicking, and relishing the confidence that accompanies experience. Especially since I’m aware of just how much skill is required to be a good mum. And its something I’m proud of.

    But the reality is…

    My life is very different than how i imagined it.

    I’m feeling disenchanted with motherhood right now. That might be because my kids are admittedly at an incredibly difficult stage. The toddler stage is not for the faint hearted, never mind having 2 of them. And another child who gets kicks out of asking the most random of questions.

    So i know this stage is hardly supposed to be likeable.

    But after years of sifting through my traumas and coming to peace (relatively) with the past, i find myself on yet another self discovery journey…

    Hello neurodiversity!

    And honestly, it makes me sick. I cant take anymore counselling, i can’t take anymore self reflection. I’ve had enough.

    Somehow i’ve allowed my fears and traumas to dictate much of my decisions in life.

    And i no longer want to do that.

    I no longer want to need to safe. We all need safety, but i’m sick of really needing it.

    I want to use my skills, passions and talents to improve the lives of others. I want to connect with people. With myself. I want to have more control over my future.

    Of course i love my kids. But i want my kids to see me fulfilled. Not a martyr. I want them to see me gain confidence in my own ability to provide for myself, and them. To see me contribute financially because i have skills that i profit from.

    I don’t want them to be scared. Not like I’ve been.

    It’s a blessing to have married a committed family man, who enjoys providing for his family.

    But i don’t want to be a housewife because I’m scared to take on the world.

    I’m crazy asf, and i think most things I want for myself are achievable.

    So no, my life doesn’t look how i thought.

    I thought i reached my peak, my purpose.

    But now I know that life continues. And after we reach our goals we set new ones. And thats okay. Life isn’t about arrival or destination.

    We’re always arriving, becoming and evolving.

    I don’t want to be scared of not being scared.

    Whatever it is, I’m going to fucking do it…

  • Being yourself is the only thing that really works

    Look, I’ve tried for most of my life to fit in. I spent nearly all of that time unaware that i was trying to fit in.

    I’ve learned that fitting in doesn’t work. Not for me, and not for you.

    Why?

    Because in the pursuit of social acceptance you abandon yourself. You cancel any possibilities for genuine connection.

    Fitting in comes at the cost of independent thinking.

    You may think that morphing into those around you will provide safety and security, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

    Because no-one can perform forever. And one day the mask will slip, you’ll forget your lines and the security you found in masking your true self to fit in with the majority disappears at the drop of a hat.

    You’ve outed yourself as “not like the rest of them”.

    You’re now excluded, mocked and gossiped about. Lonelier than ever.

    But what if i told you that you never had anything or anyone anyway? Because what you had whilst trying to be anyone and everyone but yourself was never truly yours. Never what you truly desired. Because you had spent so long denying that voice. That inner knowing that you do not align with something, somewhere, or someone.

    You created that prison.

    Being yourself, quirks, traumas, weird or boring interests and all, is the only way out. The only way to truly connect with people, places and life in general.

    Because the people, places and experiences will that are life-giving and beautiful are indeed waiting for you.

    Stop trying to fit in if you were made to stand out.

    Nobody is going to thank you on your death bed for thinking like them. Or for not chasing your dreams. Or creating the life that you want for yourself.

    Don’t give your life away. Live it. Fully.

    EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.